This Before/After Isn’t What It Seems

This picture keeps popping up in my Facebook feed over and over and over… Every time I see it I smile. My life has changed SO MUCH since the time both of these pictures were taken. If you don’t know me, you probably want to look at this picture and blindly offer encouragement for a woman that was clearly unhealthy losing weight and getting her life back on track. But it’s so much deeper than that.

On the left I was 3 months post-partum from my 2nd csection. My body was healing, recovering from the physical trauma of birth and pregnancy, my breasts were in pain from nursing, I was exhausted from caring for 2 children and sleepless nights and was in survival mode. Like so many women post-partum I was also struggling with body image and found myself comparing my body to others. So after I discovered the left picture on my father-in-laws camera, I decided to use it as motivation to get my body back.

So on the right, I dove headfirst into a pool of no excuses moms, clean eating, working out, macro counting, then container counting, eventually adding shake drinking. Food shaming, meal prepping and fitspo were consuming my thoughts surrounding food. I became an Independent coach for the company that helped me transform my body which fueled a diet industry message that my body was designed to inspire and was better at a smaller size (both of which are lies). I would share my progress, how much “better” my life was now, how I had triumphed over cravings and “temptation”, how I’d decreased in size or weight and the list goes on… I was also struggling hard with binge eating.

But you see here’s the thing. This is what that photo really represents. 2 completely different seasons of my life. On the left- survival mode and recovery. On the right- obsession with “being healthy”. Neither of those women or bodies were better than the other and both are deserving of self-care, compassion and appreciation. Both of these women were struggling with body image despite a 40 pound difference.

I can’t say it enough- life is too short for obsession. You are enough right now. I love this quote by Nia Shanks, author of “Lift Like a Girl”:

While living an active lifestyle is a huge passion of mine, it is no longer something I put on a pedestal. I get in the workouts I can, I eat the foods I enjoy and nourish my body with a variety of foods. There is no longer a hierarchy of foods or demonizing macronutrients.

You’ll never be 100% happy with your body. You’re going to keep wanting more and without even realizing it, weeks, months and years have flown by and all you have to show for it is a body you’ve spent so much time trying to make it perfect. You’ll have missed out on life, trying new new things, making memories, cake on your baby’s first birthday, avoiding trying your next door neighbors amazing dish that has been passed down for generations… for what?

Don’t let that be you. Find that balance. Stop stressing about constant improvement and just live. Include your kids in preparing food. Be active as a family. Show them what self-love and moderation is all about. They don’t need to eat perfectly or exercise for hours a day to be healthy. Kids are developing eating food fears and disorders at younger ages. It’s my job as a mom to show my kids that life is all about balance, not perfection. They are always watching and absorbing everything they see.